Changing the Narrative

“We are all born as storytellers. Our inner voice tells the first story we ever hear.” ― Kamand Kojouri

We've all been there: a broken heart, troubled employment, the loss of a loved one, fertility issues, bankruptcy, illness, marriage problems...the list goes on. When hardship strikes, people react differently, and people can come out on the other side any which way of '50 states of self' depending on how they process through it all.

Some years ago, I came to a realization that I had a reoccurring thought. Up til that moment, I had considered myself an ‘aware’ person, but the idea that I had a thought on repeat in my brain did not occur to me!

My reoccurring thought came in the form of a misplaced question, “When will I be understood?”, til on one clear morning, my brain had a jolt of insight. On that day, and in that moment, I came to see in my mind’s eye that I had been asking the wrong question over and over again, “So, what if, just what if I changed this question? Tweaked it a bit, if you will,” I wondered.

I decided that I would train my brain to ask a more productive, relevant and empowering question. A question that would shift the power of attainment towards a mindset of feasibility vs that of disability.

I asked, “How can I understand?” and suddenly the ever-raging river of thought reversed its entire flow back to the source it sprung from. I took a deep breath, and realized “This is what change is made of… a narrative!” The river then flowed again, this time giving life to new civilizations of thought and purpose in my mind.

What questions do you ask yourself? What stories do you tell about your past, present, and future? What is your narrative?

A reoccurring thought is something many people are not aware of, despite their brain replaying it over and over again like a never dissipating echo.

Even when you believe you are thinking about something else, a reoccurring thought always finds its way to the surface.

Each thought we have is like a rock in the path of a stream, changing the course of flow, making the difference in whether it connects to a river or ocean, or festers in a shallow swamp only to dry up leaving nothing behind but the markings of its old path.

YOU have always YEARNED for it, but have you REACHED for it? Recognizing a thought for what it is, and reframing it to reclaim the narrative in one's head, can help you grasp the navigation wheel of your life, and take you to places and experiences you have never imagined before!

Here are three steps you can follow on your path to #changethenarrative:

1. #Awareness : Know your mind, sit with yourself and really think about your thought process. A good way to do this is to think about how you tell your story or express your needs to different people in your life. A common theme will emerge! Even if you #wish or #pray for a certain thing over and over again, how do you word it?

Years ago, I felt such anxiety each time I headed out to my morning destination. I had gone through a tough experience in the previous year, and it left my inner charge of positive energy always low and running on depleted reserves.

One morning, in the driveway about to get into my car, I realized that the situation itself was long over, and well in the past, and yet, my mind was reliving the original dread of events that had transpired over and over again. "Holy moly!" I thought, "I am doing this to MYSELF!"

That, ladies and gentleman was my moment of AWARENESS.

2. #Affirmation : Once you recognize your pattern, change the sentences in your head, and then practice affirming your new mental stance and posture. The best way to do this is by repetition, meditation, writing things up and keeping them in front of you. Surround yourself and immerse yourself with this new and improved narrative.

In the case of my 'holy moly' moment in the front driveway of the house, this is how AFFIRMATION played out on that day. As I got into my car, I thought "I can't have these negative thoughts from the past lacing my mind's eye like a tragic oil spill for the rest of my life. This brain of mine needs a major cleaning effort." I searched my inner soul deeply with contemplative clarity, and in the time it took me to reverse my car out into the main street and shift my gear into drive, it came to me! "I have so much to be thankful for, from here, till I reach my destination, I'm going to force myself to count as many blessings in my life as I can find." On that day, I counted my blessings from the coffee mug I had with me to the hands that made it, from my health to my job, and from my parents to the new bloom on the magnolias I passed by! I then began to give thanks for things I have not yet achieved or touched in my life as if they were there, and that anxious feeling, slowly disappeared giving way to

thanks in the way of daily affirmations.

3. #Action : Now do something about it! Don't forget that a manifestation of a thought requires action. Don’t stress yourself about having to go big or stay right where you are, that is not how the universe works. There is something to be said about baby steps… before you know it they turn into strides and full-blown dance moves!

Writing this blog is such 'action', but that is a story for another day...

Back to the car as I gave thanks for everything I could muster, from the littlest to the biggest things my mind could manage at that time. On my way home, I wondered what I could do to keep the flow of positive momentum I had gained from my driveway moment. "How can I make this last?" I asked myself. "What ACTION can I take to ensure I win the day?" I contemplated. Then it occurred to me to stop by the local grocery store, grab a few items, and make a bit of a quick 'special dinner' something different from every day, something my family would enjoy and be thankful for themselves. That evening, we enjoyed our dinner on the porch and exchanged fond memories of good times, and hopes and dreams for the future. I slept so well and woke up less anxious every morning consequently.

My life experiences and insights are not unique to everyone else's, but it has been my experience that sharing these very experiences and insights can itself be cathartic for the 'sharer' and at times life-altering for the 'shared with'.

That is it for the first blog post. I hope it inspires and motivates you on your path of a life well lived, an education well used and the best of intentions set.

*PS. All images included represent a moment in the author's life when changing the narrative changed her world.